Okay. So I went to school with Myra this morning. She almost stoned in the train and I swear I can put toothpick on both her eyelids to keep them open. Had UT. It was okay, I guess. The day went on great cos I thought I had something to look forward to at the end of the day. I deliberately picked out what I wore today cos of this occassion. But at times, we can only plan but God decides. So my guess is God didn't want it to happen, yet again.
When you confirmed with me over at msn, I broke down instantly. Tears were running fast and my heart aches badly. I couldn't figure out what I was suppose to do. My brain switched to I-need-to-be-alone mode contiguously. Instead of taking the train which heads towards Jurong East, i decided to take the opposite route. All the while I was thinking of a place which is quiet and which alows me to reflect upon what I had done.
Myra <3 suggested Esplanade Library, so I did. I sat there for a long time thinking about you. I knew you weren't in the wrong. I don't know. I feel angry at you too. This emotions are taking it's toll on me. I don't know! And i swear im going to cry the whole night. On the way back home, I had umpteenth pauses, gaging at the sidewalk. Apart from the painful stabs on the stomach, I had a freaking headache which left me sitting under a void deck for a very long time. I wanted you to be there when I was sick, and when people are trying to hit on me in the train or when I am alone. I wanted that. I don't know what I feel. Im happy but I love you, but im freaking angry at you and I know you are not in the wrong.
I've really got to thank Myra, Zilah, Fizah, Brader, Kenn, Sai, G dear and Syiqah!
